Excuses

read somewhere that excuses are building blocks of an unsuccessful life. the more we use them, the higher the wall becomes, it prevents us from reaching our goals.

excuses are used when we are not willing to do all that it takes to get to where we want to be. they become our ‘get out of jail free’ card for situations we rather not face.

i am not sure if ‘unsuccessful’ is used aptly as everyone defines success differently. excuses are the band aids of an empty life and owing self a great debt of fulfilment about sums it for me.

this blog would probably be a stillbirth if i still fed myself more excuses of it’s just something frivolous, oh it’s probably not going to amount to anything. these words are too often featured in my already atrophied vocabulary. far too many dreams and things have be left in the back burner because i let myself out of the backdoor of excuses. but the nagging voice lingers.

i have an amazing lot to be thankful for, likely seriously. a family, a home, the most heart melting pup, the best supportive mom, a job, reside in a safe country with so much good food and the list just goes on. grateful to the max, cross my heart.

what about those dreams i once had? beckoning at me in sad heap tossed into a bag named excuses. i am turning 42 in less than a month, that said sad heap is a cold shower, ear piercing wake up call and apocalyptical alarm all rolled in one sobering fact – why the fuck did i leave my dreams orphaned for so long, what the fuck was i afraid of, what the/who fuck was i hiding from? me. i stood between what i could have achieved, done, made, published, cooked, created … F.M.L.T.T.M and all because i gave myself excuses that there’s still time, maybe later, soon i’d do it, it’s a silly idea, others can do it better and before long i am staring at regrets.

the beautiful thing about life is that it’s a journey and we always have chances to embark afresh. i have been in a staring match with regrets since time immemorial and  i’m getting off my bum to explore, meet people and read my books (my poor poor darlings have not seen day of light for far too long), bake stuff, fire up my oven and stove and embark on adventures. how exciting!

yet excuses are like scorned and jilted gfs/bfs…stalking and creeping you out and it’s so easy to fall back into the arms of inertia. what could be easier than NOT DOING ANYTHING?!

no, not this time. my life will not be lived behind a wall of excuses.

let’s get work out of the way, a good two hours of house chores tonight so that i can have some me time with a good book before bringing the pup to the beach tomorrow evening!

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